I’m going to get an abortion today and all I can think about is the fact that I couldn’t find any info online about what to do if I run into protesters and what if somebody hurts me? Or my man? It’s 5:30am and I’m packing a knife in my purse just in case
this just put my heart in my stomach. forgive them father for they know not what they do. I pray this little one did not suffer and that they are now safe in your arms Lord.
You’re more concerned about a person who doesn’t exist yet than you are about the young woman who had to pack concealed weapons in her bag in order to feel safe enough to go get necessary services from a clinic whose primary purposes are ultrasound prenatal care and birth control for underprivileged persons of low income. Is that what I’m hearing right now?
How about instead of praying on my post about how sad it is that I can’t have a child, you pray on your knees about how important it is for us to make a world where it is possible for me to bring a child without feeling the guilt of casting them into a world that is entirely unwilling and unable to help them live a safe, sane, healthy life. Give me a world where a starting a child’s life doesn’t effectively end my own. Then come talk to me.
except your child did exist. if they hadn’t you wouldn’t have gone and had an abortion because there would have been nothing to abort. You were pregnant with a human being and today you took their life. For what reason I don’t know but I do know that no reason you could give will be good enough.
I do not condone violent or hateful protestors at abortion sites. They are part of the problem rather than the solution. However, it is clear that you came out of this experience unharmed and your child did not so yes it is them that I cry for because who else will? Obviously not their own mother.
What do you mean that you can’t have a child? You obviously could but threw them away. That’s not what I am upset about. All I hear from you are pathetic excuses. It is not news that the world is not perfect. Does that mean any of us should not be here? Do you not love your own life regardless of the hardships that we all face from time to time? And saying that the “world is entirely unwilling and unable to help them live a safe, sane, healthy life” is ridiculously untrue. Do you know how many government/charitable organizations would have been willing to help you? Do you realize how many families are waiting for someone like you to pick them, and give them the child that you are not ready to parent yourself? Don’t pretend like you made this choice for anyone but yourself. There were many other options and many people willing and ready to help you and your child. So yes I weep for the unnecessary loss of your child’s life and I pray they did not suffer because there is nothing else I can do for them. As for you I do not hate you and I do not wish any harm to come to you. I only hope and pray that with time and maturity comes regret and realization of what you have done, and that’s the last I am going to say on the topic.
Actually, I didn’t get my procedure today. I was intending to, but circumstances… Well.
And no, l do not love my own life. I’m schizoid, depressed, and have tons of anxiety issues. My boyfriend has bipolar and a whole host of other mental issues. We scrounge every goddamned penny we have to put food on the table and gas in the car. And yeah. I know about food stamps. I know about welfare. I know that no benefits the government can offer me can make up for the $2800 in lost wages for just four weeks of maternity leave, not counting wages lost to prenatal appointments. I know that those benefits won’t make up for the toll of a birth on my body. I know that those benefits won’t get me my job back, because I’m literally looking at being fired because pregnancy symptoms are making my chef think I’m incapable of doing my job, and I know that he’s not exactly wrong to think that. I know that the world is full of homophobes and abusers and rapists and guidance counsellors who don’t know how to treat mentally ill kids with the respect they deserve, and I know that I am not in any place to give anyone a safe and supportive home.
I know where you’re coming from. My family is clergy. I know that your heart weeps over what you think is a baby. And that really sucks. I’m sorry you feel so strongly and so wrongly about something that is entirely none of your business. But please. Have some respect. I already regret what I am going to do. But I have come to understand that it is necessary.
Hi, before I say anything else, I just want you to know that I’m not coming here to shame you or anything like that. I’ve had 2 abortions myself when I was a teenager and I regret them so incredibly much, words cannot even describe. I see that you said you already regret this decision and I’m so sorry you feel like abortion is your ONLY choice, which is what it sounds like to me from what you’ve written. If you’re not aware, which a lot of people aren’t and I wasn’t aware of this when I had my abortions, is that if you contact an adoption agency before you have your baby they can connect you with a family of your choice and depending on the agency the family could provide for you financially throughout your whole pregnancy (food, housing, schooling, healthcare, etc) and possibly even after your pregnancy, this is something you could and should discuss with any potential adoptive family. I know that pregnancy is such a hard thing to handle especially when you’re battling mental illness but maybe this is something you could look into at least. As someone who’s had 2 abortions and regrets them deeply, I’ve suffered for years with severe depression over my abortions, and I don’t want to see another person have to go through what I did. I hope you’re doing well and please message me if you need to talk.
See, it’s more than that. Because I’m looking at losing my job. Right now. I can’t stand for more than two hours at a time without getting back pain, I have near constant uterine cramping, and extreme heat or cold make me nauseous. And I work in a kitchen.
And right now, I’m trying my hardest to not just pay bills. Like my car? Needs to be sold, and I need a new one. And that’s not something an adoptive family in my state is legally allowed to do. I’m hoping to move in August when my lease comes up, to a different state. Better opportunities. A better life. My estimated date of delivery is August. They can’t legally help me pay for my move. And what about my boyfriend’s meds? He uses pot to keep his mental illnesses in check. Who the fuck is gonna pay for that?
And what about after the birth? What about when I have complications from the birthing process, postpartum depression? How am I supposed to find a job, having been fired and jobless for at least six or seven months, in an industry whose primary concern is in the workaholism of its staff? How would I deal with the fact that I placed into the arms of an adoptive couple a baby that I FORCED to happen, when I had other options? When there’s how many hundreds of thousands of children in foster care who could have taken those arms? Who NEEDED those peoples support? And I made the decision to place a child into a world that abandoned those children and fails millions more every single fucking day. Who deals with that guilt?
This situation is not nearly so simple as it seems to you.
Look, I never said it was simple, or that it was going to be simple, I never even assumed for a second that it was simple. I merely offered an alternative that maybe you could think about because I wished someone could have offered it to me. All I know is that your baby is alive and safe right now, they are human with their own distinct DNA and they deserve a chance to live their life just like you and I. I hope you make the right choice and if you do I can help you seek any financial aid you may need, job opportunities that are friendly to pregnant women, access to healthcare, housing, etc. Plus, I know plenty of people who have information about any help you need. Just please be open to any options that don’t cause direct harm to your baby. I wish you the best of luck and message me if you need any help, advice, or just someone to talk to.
@gmeerkitten My mother killed my little sister by abortion and she has been devastated ever since. The use of violence against an innocent child is never the right answer. Like @autumn-elouise, I will help you protect your child’s life every step of the way. I have personally helped mothers like you make it through their pregnancy and childbirth, including helping them set up a Go Fund Me account, hosting online baby showers, and buying them cribs, strollers, blankets, bottles, and various other baby items.
If you don’t feel that you can parent a child right now, please be a hero to them by becoming a birthmother. Visit Brave Love for a list of adoption agencies that can help both you and your son or daughter. Your baby only has you in this world to rely on right now. Please don’t let them down. I have never encountered a mother who regretted giving birth to her child. I have encountered countless mothers who regretted killing their child.
Embrace life and begin an amazing journey that will bring you the greatest love you have ever known.
Guys. You’ve missed the entire point. BEING PREGNANT RIGHT NOW IS RUINING MY LIFE. The end. No more questions.
I have NO desire to give up the career I fucking love, the boyfriend who depends on me, and the physical safety of my body, for a person who ISN’T EVEN A PERSON.
And as for your experience having never met anyone who regretted having kids? Welcome to the other side of the poverty line. Over here, I can name a dozen people off the top of my head whose lives were wrecked by pregnancy, childbirth, or motherhood.
Abortion is not an option. It is not a choice that I can change. It is the one thing that will keep me alive and out of poverty. I’m not here to fucking argue.
@gmeerkitten I am not here to argue either, only to show you the humanity of the child you are carrying. Their life is worth every sacrifice, every difficulty, and every struggle. Remember, you once lived inside a womb, protected and nurtured. And look at you now. Shouldn’t your child have a career they love? A boyfriend or girlfriend to tackle life’s challenges with? Shouldn’t they get to keep their very life?
You claim you have no choice. I’m here to give you a choice. I will make sure you are provided for while you are on maternity leave. I will make sure your rent is paid, you have food on the table, and you and your baby receive prenatal checkups. I will adopt your child in an open adoption so that you can keep in touch and visit as often as you like. And when you are ready to be a full-time parent, I will place them in your custody. Just think of me as a long term babysitter. And if you prefer to place them for adoption through an agency, I will immediately begin the process with you to set it into motion. I will do ALL of the work to provide your child with a loving family, whether it be mine or someone else’s. And if you want to parent, I’ll do ALL the work to set you up with private and government resources that will ensure you can provide for yourself and your child. And yes, I will help your boyfriend as well.
Why am I willing to do these things for a total stranger? Because you and your child are members of my human family. I don’t want to see violence used against your baby to solve problems that we can work through together. Simply put, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t put forth the effort required to save the life of a child destined for the same fate my sister suffered. Trust me, this offer is real.
Please call the Option Line at 800-712-4357 right now to speak with someone that can help you with your decision. You can also text ‘HELPLINE’ to 313131 to chat with a counselor. They also have a live online chat.
You are not alone.
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