When I first found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. It was probably one of the hardest days of my life. Although I love my boyfriend very much, I knew I was not physically, mentally, or emotionally ready to raise a child in the way they deserve. I immediately knew that I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. I had always been pro-choice, but never imagined I would actually be able to personally get an abortion. I never even imagined it was a decision I would have to make! My first appointment at Planned Parenthood put me at ease. The staff was incredibly reassuring, and answered every question I had. I had a couple tests, a vaginal ultrasound, and some counseling with nurses and doctors. I ended up choosing the medical abortion procedure, with the pills. I left that day prepared and feeling slightly better. At the next appointment I took my first set of pills, the mifepristone. It was two pills that I swallowed. The first day after that was fine. I felt a little hormonal, and had some cramping. The night before I took the second set of pills I had some cramping and started bleeding. With my heating pad I felt more comfortable. The day I went to to take the misoprostol I was EXTREMELY nervous, shaking and felt very nauseous. I picked up my prescriptions from CVS so I could take my ibuprofen, vicodin and anti-nausea pills before I took the miso. I had my friend drive me to the clinic. I took my medications about 30 minutes before my actual appointment. On my way home I started feeling EXTREMELY SICK because my medication had not kicked in yet and I just wanted to be home. I felt like I was cramping badly and was very sick to my stomach. But I kept reminding myself that I would feel better soon and would be comfortable and laying on my couch. As soon as I got home my Vicodin kicked in and I felt better being with my boyfriend and my heating pad. My pain meds helped me immensely and honestly it was only just a little more UNCOMFORTABLE than a bad period, but not more painful due to the pain meds. My heavy, heavy bleeding lasted for about ten minutes while I sat on the toilet, which is when my pregnancy passed. It was a breeze! Reading other girls stories scared me because I was expecting so much worse. This was all last night. Today I am tired, and still have slight cramping and bleeding. But nothing unbearable :) I feel relieved and empowered that I was able to make this decision for myself, my body and my future. If anyone has any questions or just wants to talk, don’t hesitate! I’m here. Abortion is different for every girl, and there is no right way to feel. Just don’t feel alone xoxoxo
“My heavy, heavy bleeding lasted for about ten minutes while I sat on the toilet, which is when my pregnancy passed.”
Your use of human waste euphemisms fail to mask what you have just done. Allow me to help you shatter your delusions…
“My heavy, heavy bleeding lasted for about ten minutes while I sat on the toilet, which is when the child I poisoned died.”
You literally suffocated your own living son or daughter to death. Did you get a good look at them while they floated in the toilet you also defecate in? But I guess their lifeless little body wouldn’t affect you, would it? Your selfishness blinds you to their humanity.
As a mother, you are a failure. You were the one person in this world your child should have been able to count on and you let them down. No matter how hard you try to forget their life, they will forever be a part of who you have become.
For your child…
I’m sorry little one. I’m sorry you were carried by a mother who placed her own life above yours. A mother who was never taught the value of human life and was so utterly devoid of compassion that she abandoned you in a toilet. Just know that just because your immediate family never loved you, you were not unloved. You were a member of the human family and there are millions of us who will never let you be forgotten. You were one of us and you mattered. Your life mattered.
If you someday outgrow your own selfishness and realize that the world is bigger than you and that true happiness can only be found in providing for the love and protection of another, reach out for help. Then take a stand against the cruelty of abortion and do all you can to prevent the further destruction of innocent human life.