This is the saddest and most backward thinking I’ve encountered in quite a while. You are actually saying that you wish you had killed your daughter while in your womb to avoid your own personal pain of having her disown you later in life because she realized you never wanted her. Once again, your sentiment proves that abortion is all about killing others for selfish reasons. Can you blame her for distancing herself from someone who wishes she were dead?
You need to reevaluate what it means to be a mother. What’s important is not that she loves you, but that she loves herself. If you can achieve that with her, you have succeeded as her mother.