So today I had the abortion.
It feels weird now, knowing I’m no longer pregnant. It’s been a very long and painful day. I know some will not approve, and I hope this does not trigger anyone. I wanted to share my experience, since as prepared as I thought I was, I really wasn’t.
I went to the Philadelphia Women’s Clinic off 8th Street in center city Philadelphia, PA. My boyfriend came with me. There was one girl already there by the time we arrived at 8am. They started me out by having me fill out paper work – lots and lots of paperwork. As well as a urine sample, blood samples, and vital signs. They quickly did an ultrasound – I was 7 weeks and 4 days the ultrasound tech said. The monitor was turned so I didn’t actually see the screen. It was all a bit of a blur, everything was done quickly. After all that I talked to a counselor and filled out even more paperwork. Finally I had to wait for the doctor to come in. It was 9:30 AM by this time and she wouldn’t be in til sometime after 11. And so I waited. I laid my head on my boyfriends shoulder. We heard the fire alarm go off for the daycare center downstairs and I woke up. By 11:15 ish I was sooo tired and hungry when the nurse called me in. I over heard other girls talk about getting food afterwards. The one girl said she couldn’t wait to get drunk tonight. It bothered me how nonchalant some of these girls were. I was a wreck and they were talking about going out partying.
Next I went into a room where we were to take off our clothes and put on this hospital gown. Mine was huge. I felt so cold in it too. Next I waited for them to call me to a room. I sat in there, and waited for my team of women. I have to say, everyone at this place was extremely kind. The medical assistant held my hand at they did the procedure.
So, I chose to get local anesthetic because it was $75 cheaper than to go to sleep but also because I was taking public transportation home. I wish I had spent the extra $75. First they insert a speculum and then numb the cervix. This wasn’t so bad, it just burned a bit. What followed was worse than any period I’ve ever had, which is saying something. The actually emptying of the uterus – the abortion- is like having your insides ripped apart. Omg, it was only 3 minutes but 3 minutes of pain that didn’t go away afterwards. I began shaking and crying and they had to calm me down to continue.
Afterwards I was in so much pain it was difficult to walk. I went to a recovery room and had a pad placed between my legs. I was given a blanket, a heating pad, and motrin with ginger ale and crackers. They took my vitals and then gave me an IM injection of an anti-nausea medicine, Idk which, because I became extremely nauseous and almost threw up. After 30 minutes they had me get up, get dressed. They gave me prescriptions for antibiotics and motrin and sent me on my way. I was, and currently am still, in a lot of pain. I’m bleeding a lot and hate that I have school tonight. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have this project to turn in.
So that was my experience. I am still and always will be pro-choice, but I don’t know if I could ever, ever go through that again. My heart broke a little when I found out exactly how far along I was, and when I felt the abortion happening I felt like a horrible person. I don’t wanna scare anyone – maybe getting put to sleep is better- but this was my experience today.
The horror you felt was your child being slaughtered while you cradled him or her in your womb. Whether your child was held in your arms or in your uterus, he or she was a living human being and you paid someone to rip him or her to pieces while you laid on your back with your legs spread. You literally exposed your own son or daughter to their butcher – a butcher you scraped $350 together to pay.
This is an eight week old unborn child. Your child once looked very much like this.
And this is what an eight week old unborn child looks like after an abortion. This is what your child looks like now. Dead and abandoned as medical waste.
And this is what you could have had – what we all could have had. Your child would have been loved by someone someday, even if that love could never have come from you.
You did not act to protect your child, you only acted to protect your own self interest. Now that your womb is empty, I hope it forever stays that way. You must never again be trusted to harbor life within you.
I do hope you will come to realize what you have done today. I hope that when you do, you fight like hell to protect other children from the fate you forced upon yours. Only then will you begin to reclaim your humanity.
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