I need help. One of my friends is extremely tokophobic, to the point where she has had horrible panic attacks in response to pregnancy scares. She just recently found out she’s pregnant and I’m really worried for her because I’ve never seen her this afraid. She’s considering aborting. Is there anything I can do to convince her not to kill her child? What should I do to help her through her fears?
If she is tokophobic, why does she continuously place herself in a position where pregnancy is a concern? Abstinence, birth control, and sterilization are options. Since I’m a realist, I don’t actually expect her to abstain from sex, but the other two options are certainly viable.
Since your friend is now pregnant and I assume panicking, she obviously needs to seek professional help. Since any phobia is an irrational fear of something, I don’t think there is much you will be able to do to help her other than to understand why she has this fear. If it’s simply the thought of another human being living inside of her, you are up against a huge challenge.
If it’s based on the fear that she may do something to hurt her child or a fear of actually birthing her child, then carefully explain how her body will naturally take care of her baby without much interference from her. Also try to get her to watch childbirth videos. Start off with the less graphic ones and work your way up from there. You should also recommend cesarean section as an alternative. This may relieve her anxiety if it’s related to a vaginal delivery.
Also, show her this video of what abortion will do to her living son or daughter. Sometimes, knowing what abortion really does to your child can change minds. If she is considering a medical abortion instead, have her read this firsthand account from Abby Johnson.
To be clear, I recommend leaving this up to a professional. But if she is going to abort, you have a responsibility as a human being to do all that you can to save the person growing in her womb from being poisoned or dismembered. Also, see my response to a mother who planned to poison her child a few days ago.
Also let her know that some people have a fear of infants known as pedophobia. Although different in the fact that her child currently resides within her, ask her if someone with pedophobia should be allowed to kill their infant because of their phobia or if they should seek help to ensure their child’s safety.
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