This was a private message that I received permission to make public. I have made this anonymous to protect her identity.
I’m so confused and I need someone to talk to. I’m 16 and I think I’m pregnant. I’ve only been involved with one guy for a while and we weren’t in touch when I got my last period so I didn’t make good note of the date, thinking we were done. But we weren’t. Based on 2 periods ago, I’m late by a few days but I’m not positive. If I am, this isn’t my first pregnancy. Almost 2 years ago, right after I turned 15, I got pregnant and my then-boyfriend pressured me to have an abortion. He also basically dropped off the face of the earth, so I needed some support. My parents found out and I went through with the abortion. My mom told me that if I “pull that shit again” she’ll kick me out of the house. I don’t know if she really would but if she wasn’t kidding I don’t have anywhere to go, and I have no job. My options, if I am pregnant, are to seek help from my cousin to abort it in secret, which I truthfully do not want to do. Or to own up to my mistake and tell my mom. I’m just so afraid, because we have enough trouble paying bills as it is, I don’t know if they’ll be able to keep me in the house if they want to. I’m so scared. The guy who I’ve been with knows that I think I’m late but he won’t say much other than that he just hopes I’m not. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, maybe just some support or a bit of understanding. Thanks for your time, truly. I needed to get it out there, at least.
I understand that you are scared and the world seems like it is spiraling out of control. Your first step, before burdening your mind with all of these concerns, is to take a pregnancy test. If you can’t afford one, find a Pregnancy Resource Center and they will provide one for free. You can also call 800-712-HELP or text ‘HELPLINE’ to 313131.
If you are pregnant, you have a responsibility to your living son or daughter. They, like you, are not disposable. I know you were pressured into an abortion before, but stand up for your child this time and fight for their life. NO ONE can make you kill your child.
Life has an amazing way of working out when you do the right thing. I really doubt your mother would kick her own pregnant daughter out into the cold world without any support. She may threaten this as a way to pressure you into abortion. Stand your ground and tell her you love your child just like she loves hers.
If she does actually force you out of her home, which may or may not be legal in your state given your age, seek help from family, even extended family. The pregnancy center that provides your pregnancy test will also help you find safe and free housing. If all else fails, you can live with my family. I will not let you or your child go unloved or uncared for.
UPDATE: This young woman took her pregnancy test and it came back negative. She finally started her period, although five days late. Great news! She has taken this opportunity to ensure all future sex will be fully protected. Please learn from her near miss.